The Cookie Thief
by Sora Nadeshiko
Summary: Ah Kitsu purrs,Time to steal the cookies!I am getting payed by both Kana a.k.a.Kashi and Kushina.Shh!We are plotting on getting Minato's secret formula.Our plan is to get rich quick.Mina-chan will never know what hit him!Mentions of Yaoi/het. Hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

The Cookie Thief

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. I do not own Kitsu's soul (Naruto), but I own the concept of Kitsu.

Chapter 1: Stealing the Cookies

Kitsu's P.O.V

I woke up breathing heavily.

My room was dark; you could barely see anything.

I glanced at the clock.

12 o'clock A.M. Midnight.

I changed into my shinobi gear and grabbed my kunai pouch and several scrolls.

You never know what was going to happen.

I tip-toed slowly down the stairs and stealthily walked into the kitchen.

There it was. The jar was glowing with a radiant light and angels were singing halleluiah, halleluiah.

Minato's cookies were definitely _the _best.

I began to salivate and I slowly walked towards the jar.

I had to rendezvous with Kakashi… or should I say Kana and Kushina.

'_We have to find out how he makes it!'_ I thought.

I activated my demonic sharingan.

I _am _the supposedly _great_ Kyuubi.

My sharingan has 9 tomoes. 3 on each ring.

My eyes are also bi-colored; red and blue, like water and fire, fighting for the rest of eternity.

Anyways… just how do I steal it?

Right… I snatch it and replace it with another cookie jar.

I carry on with my plan.

While I dodge various traps.

When I snatch the oh-so-luscious cookies, I seal it in a blank scroll.

I put on my Kitsune mask and escape through the window.

I leave a chishio bunshin in my room as a failsafe.

Heh…Mina-chan will never know what hit him.

Erm… to the people who read this… please review and tell me what you think.

This was inspired by one of my drawings. Just so you guys know… I was half-asleep when I drew it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine!**

**Note that I believe in one god and I am a roman catholic.**

~TCT~

Chapter 2

I was in the middle of my journey when…

"Fuck!"

Iwa-nins were in the middle of the road.

My eyes started to water and I sniffed sadly.

"Goodbye my precious."

I reached into the jar and… I didn't feel anything!

I paled.

Damn Minato and his stupid security!

The next place he would hide it was in the vault.

I reached into my bag and wrote in a scroll.

To: Puppy-chan (Kakashi) and Kushina

Sorry for the delay. Minato updated his security alarms. Place the Hiraishin kunai where you want me to appear. (AND NO PRANKS DAMMIT!)

From: Kiroi Kitsune

I rolled it up and strapped one of my hiraishin kunais to it.

I reached into my bag and took out my golden eagle.

"Kintori find Kushina and give her this."

He looked at me with blank eyes.

No matter what, Kintori usually made me lose my patience.

"Fine, fine! I'll give you some of your prized salmon."

Kintori nodded his head smugly.

'_That conceited bird…'_

I strapped the package to his back and he flew away.

I focused and let my mind's eye wander towards Konoha.

"Aha!"

I teleported in front of the vault.

I pressed the code in.

1,14,2,21

The titanium doors slid open.

In the middle of the sanitary room was _the_ golden cookie jar. (That's right! It was made of pure gold!)

I snatched it and reached inside.

I took out a cookie and tasted it.

I couldn't help but have hearts in my eyes.

It tasted… like a stream of flavor. The smooth flowing texture accented the already perfect taste of chocolate and dough. It was still soft, chewy and warm.

I couldn't help but giggle like a school girl who had her first kiss with her crush/ hot guy.

'_Yum… It's so perfect.'_

I squealed in joy.

'_Even though Mina-chan sucks at cooking… his baking skills are the best!'_

I squealed again.

I remembered the cold, lonely nights when I only had Minato. He was always so sweet when he gave me cookies.

Man… I also remembered the times when we got drunk when he missed Kushina…it was all so clear.

I mean… who wouldn't remember when their brother was under him moaning in pleasure.

Kushina approves of this because I gave her photos and pictures.

In the morning he would always blush and be clumsy. He usually apologizes and scampers away to make cookies.

Yum. In both ways.

(My, my, my! It seems my mind is getting dirtier every passing day! Yaoi! Kitsumina or Kitsunato (this sounds better)…)

I flinched when I felt his chakra signature move.

I secured the cookie jar and I pin-pointed the location of the hiraishin kunai.

I teleported in front of Kana and Kushina.

"Hey girls! I have the goods."

Kakashi was now fuming. He was now wearing short-shorts, a tube-top, and 2 inch heels. Puppy-chan was wearing all black.

I smirked.

He still had chubby cheeks and overall he was meant to be a girl (from what I could tell from his looks).

Man… how did Sakumo-senpai do it!

I mean… he didn't look _that_ effeminate and Natsuki wasn't goddess material (though she was beautiful).

How did they end up with Kakashi?

Probably genetics…Natsuki was closely related to Sasuke so maybe she had Mikoto's goddess genes.

I sighed.

Now, Minato and I are god material. The fangirls made sure of that (by giving us offerings which consisted of letters, food, and undergarments) and kaa-san was a direct descendant of Kami-sama.

Kushi-kun is goddess material also. Her ancestor was Uzukami-sama: the goddess of the whirlpools.

People with divine material should stick together…right?

Now onto business.

"Kushi-kun, do you have your part of the bargain?"

She gave me her best smirk.

"Of course I do."

~~MTF~~

**To: 1hellyeahz1**

**Well, before you reviewed this story I thought no one liked it. Thanks!**

**Note: This is in another universe. It is not in The Former Team 7-verse.**

**Review if you like it!**


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